


And in the corner of my heart, I still hold you close

by charleia



Category: American Horror Story, American Horror Story: Roanoke
Genre: Angst, F/F, Fluff, wintery prompts
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-07
Updated: 2020-09-15
Packaged: 2021-01-25 00:48:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 7,875
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21347527
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/charleia/pseuds/charleia
Summary: Based on all the prompts I receive on tumblr :)
Relationships: Shelby Miller (American Horror Story)/Audrey Tindall
Comments: 13
Kudos: 54





	1. And don’t call me lover, it’s not enough

**Author's Note:**

> I know I’m way behind on the prompts I’m supposed to do but I got this one and I just had to do it asap. Based on the winter themed prompt “we just had a one-night stand but a massive storm hit so now we’re snowed in, hello awkward”

She should regret it. 

She should be embarrassed. This had all been a big mistake, the only smart thing to do was for them to forget it ever happened in the first place. 

Shelby sighed and turned onto her side. She didn’t want to do any of that. 

Her heart thumped wildly in her chest. Beside her, Audrey was still fast asleep. Her hair was messy and tousled, the red lipstick she had worn the night before was smudged, a light pink blush tinted her cheeks and light bruises decorated her neck and chest— had she been the cause of that?

Memories from last night flooded her mind. They’d been at a party, something about the show, Sidney had organised it. Everyone had been there. Even Matt had showed up with his latest flirt. Then, both feeling particularly shitty about seeing their exes with two other girls, Audrey had talked Shelby into doing these shots. She still grimaces when she remembers the bitter, acidic taste. 

They’d been too drunk to go home and Audrey had gotten the magnificent idea to take an uber to her holiday cabin right in the middle of the woods, remote from the city. There, Audrey had opened another bottle of wine. 

Shelby knows it’s wrong. It had been foolish. She’s not entirely sure how it happened but somehow Audrey had winded up in her lap, legs wound around her waist, lips dragging down her neck, fingers tangled in her long blond hair. 

She shouldn’t have kissed her back. She _definitely _ shouldn’t have dragged Audrey to her bedroom. She should have just put a stop to it and gone home. 

And she would have, if a part of her hadn’t wanted it so desperately. 

Shelby wouldn’t _ever_ admit this, but a part of her had longed for it. Had done so for months on end. Audrey was loud, insufferable, bordering on arrogant even, but Shelby felt drawn to her. She liked how Audrey challenged her in ways Matt never did. She liked how Audrey was never boring and so full of spirit, she felt attracted to her bold brown eyes, her cheeky smile and the way her liveliness always filled up the entire room. 

She sighed softly and closed her eyes. Still, it had been wrong. 

Then why didn’t she feel more guilty? Why had it felt so _right?_ Last night, she had felt more alive than she had in a very long time. Audrey had kissed her in a way she could only describe as hungrily, clutching onto her as if she were her last lifeline, leaving her mark down her throat, stomach and thighs. 

Shelby had finally felt desired again. 

Audrey stirred and groaned softly. She opened her eyes, briefly meeting Shelby’s before sighing deeply and sitting upright. “Bloody hell,” she mumbled, voice still rough with sleep. “My fucking head hurts.”

Clutching the thick duvet to her chest, Shelby sat up as well. A shiver went down her spine as she watched Audrey climb out of bed, dressing herself in a fluffy robe. 

“Audrey?”

“Hm?” She padded around the room, picking up Shelby’s discarded underwear and shirt from the night before and handed it to her. 

“Thanks,” Shelby mumbled, blushing furiously. “So… I— er… This— I’m sorry, I—”

“Look,” Audrey interrupted, “I know you think it was a mistake. It’s fine.”

“Well- don’t _you_ think it was a mistake?”

Audrey shrugged apathetically. “What difference does it make?” she asked coolly. “We should just… Try to forget it ever happened, okay? It’s probably for the best.”

Shelby opened her mouth to say something, but decided against it and closed it again. 

“Do you want me to call you an uber?”

“Why? You want me to leave?”

Audrey sighed as she sifted through the clothes on the floor in search of her phone. “I didn’t say that.”

“Then what _are_ you saying?”

Audrey looked up now, slightly irritated. “Well Jesus Christ, Shelby, I don’t know? What the fuck do you want me to say? I just figured you’d want to leave, you know? On account of the ‘Trying-to-forget-it-ever-happened’ thing? But you’re welcome to stay if you so desire.”

“No, thank you,” Shelby spat, “You’re right. It was a dumb mistake. We should pretend it never happened. I’ll go, I can arrange my own ride.” Angrily, she hopped out of bed, grabbing the rest of her clothes from the floor and shutting the door with a loud crash. 

How could she have _ever_ entertained the notion that this was more than just a drunken hook-up to Audrey? How could she have possibly thought that it had meant anything at all to her? Deep down she knew Audrey was right. Forgetting about it did seem like the better option. Still, a small, selfish part of her had secretly hoped that Audrey would have shown at least the smallest sign that it had meant something to her as well.

As quickly as she could, she dressed herself, retrieving her phone from her purse, bashing the button to turn it on. She groaned loudly, kicking against the dining room chair; _No Service. _

“I’d appreciate it if you were to refrain from destroying my home.”

Shelby looked up, startled, she’d barely heard Audrey enter the room. She closely brushed past her and grabbing a mug from the cupboard. 

“I’m sorry,” Shelby muttered. “There’s no cell service here.”

“I see. Are you aware that that’s my sweater you’re wearing?”

Shelby blushed, “I’m sorry, I must’ve grabbed yours on accident.”

“You must’ve.”

Sighing softly, Shelby padded around the room, peeking through the curtains. Outside, a thick layer of snow covered the ground. “A storm must’ve hit us, did you hear anything last night?”

“Why, no,” Audrey said sardonically, “I was a little preoccupied.”

Shelby rolled her eyes, “Funny. Does your phone happen to have service?”

“Nope.”

“And where’s the nearest facility?”

Audrey shrugged and sipped her tea. “A couple of miles away? Not that you’d get very far in that weather.”

“So what you’re saying is we’re stuck here together?”

“I’m afraid so,” Audrey said. She held up the tea kettle “You want some?” 

Shelby dropped down on the sofa, arms crossed over her chest. “Why are you like this?”

“Why am I like what?”

“Why are you pretending nothing happened?”

With a smack, Audrey set her mug on the counter. “Why do you insist on making this into such a huge thing? For God’s sake, Shelby, we had sex. That’s it. Surely this isn’t your first drunken shag.”

“Do I mean anything to you? Anything at all?”

Audrey sighed. “Shelby, _please_ don’t start, my head is already killing me.”

“Answer me,” Shelby stood up, stepping closer to Audrey and coaxing her into meeting her gaze. 

“What exactly does it change?” Audey’s eyes looked dull, sad, lacking their trademark lively sparkle. “Of course you matter to me you idiot, but what difference does it make? Does it change anything? It just makes things way more complicated and in no way does it change we should never have let it go that far.”

For a prolonged moment, Shelby just stared at Audrey, unsure of how to reply, much less how to _feel_. She sighed softly and turned away from her. “I should leave.”

“Don’t be ridiculous, you’ll catch some disease.”

“I don’t give a shit.” Shelby tugged on her coat and wrapped her scarf around her neck. “I’m not going to sit here and have you treat me like this.”

Audrey rolled her eyes and sighed. “Jesus christ, Shelby, you’re making this so much harder on yourself. We’re adults, we should be able to be in the same room. Just stay here, I’m sure we’ll be able to get out soon.”

Avoiding her gaze, Shelby crossed her arms and didn’t reply. 

“Come on, at least you’ll be safe here. You really won’t get far out there. I hate to break it to you but we’re snowed in. We’re going to be stuck here for a while. The least we can do is try to get along. After that we’ll never have to see each other again if that’s what you’d like.”

Shelby groaned loudly, “This is the worst fucking thing.”

“Look, I’m not overjoyed either, but there’s nothing we can do about it, now can we? As soon as the storm lets up we’ll leave so would you _please_ stop moaning?”

“That’s not what you said last night.”

Audrey scoffed, “God, Shelby, that is _hilarious,_ say I have a better idea. How about I’ll go to my room now and then you’ll stick to your side of the living room and then we just… Stop talking altogether?”

“Whatever.”

“Great,” Audrey said sardonically, “Love the enthusiasm too. So if you need me, I’ll be in my room. Make sure you don’t need me.”

***

It was already dark outside when Shelby awoke from her nap. Audrey shuffled through the living room, her robe swishing behind her. In her arms, she carried a couple of candles which she lit as she placed them throughout the place. 

“Setting the mood, are we?” Shelby asked sarcastically as she sat upright. 

“The power went out. Could you stop being an asshole and help me out instead?”

Shelby rolled her eyes but stood up anyway. 

“ _Thank you,_ light those for me, please?” Audrey waved her hand in the direction of a bunch of unlit candles. “There’s another lighter on the counter.”

“Is there anything to eat here?” Shelby asked, “I’m starving.”

Audrey shrugged, “I haven’t been here in months, I can’t remember the last time I did groceries, you could check the fridge if you’d like but I doubt you’ll find something that isn’t spoiled.”

“Why did you think it was a good idea to take me here?”

“Jesus, Shelby, how many times do I have to tell you? I don’t know. I was properly pissed and so were you, I didn’t hear one complaint from you either. I can’t undo what happened, what the fuck do you want me to do?”

Shelby stood up and strode towards Audrey. “I want you to talk to me about it, to _acknowledge_ what happened!”

“It wouldn’t make a difference,” Audrey sighed and closed her eyes. “As soon as this is over you’ll go running back to Matt.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Oh? Am I to believe the reason you got drunk _wasn’t_ because you were upset about seeing Matt with that other girl?”

“Bringing up Matt— wow, that’s low, even for you.”

Audrey smirked and stepped closer. “I thought you liked it when I went low.”

“You are insufferable, Audrey.”

“And you, Shelby, are pathetic for chasing after some fucking asshole who has no interest in you which is just as well because he doesn’t fucking deserve you, when will you get that through your head?”

“You need to shut up,” Shelby shook her head, profusely blinking her tears away. “You couldn’t be further from the truth.”

“Then tell me, what _is_ the truth?”

For a moment, Shelby didn’t reply. Then, surprising both herself and Audrey, she lunged forward, catching her by the elbow, pressing her lips to Audrey’s in a chaste, hasty kiss before quickly pulling back.

Audrey exhaled sharply, dazed and disoriented. She looked up. Shelby’s eyes, which, mere moments ago had shone with fury, now showed bewilderment and a hint of sadness. Her heart wrenched with both guilt and desire. She lifted herself to the tips of her toes and cradled Shelby’s face between her hands, tugging her down into another kiss. Over and over, their lips met, fiercely, hungrily. Shelby hands wandered, shoved Audrey against the counter as she kissed her with abandon. 

Breathlessly, Shelby severed the kiss. “Audrey—” she whispered shakily, “We need to stop, I won’t be able to contain myself if we go any further.”

“Who says I want you to?” Audrey murmured, brushing her nose against Shelby’s and gently pressing a soft kiss to her lips. 

Shelby gave her a soft push, “But I don’t want to forget about it afterwards,” she said, lifting Audrey’s chin to meet her gaze, “I can’t pretend that nothing happened and that I don’t have feelings for you. I can’t just go on with my life.”

Audrey took a deep breath, lifting her hand to caress Shelby’s face. “Who says I want you to?” she repeated. 

“Audrey, I—”

“Just kiss me,” Audrey pleaded. 

And so Shelby did. 

***

Delicate fingers dragged over Shelby’s back, gently drawing her from her slumber. 

Shelby hummed softly, leaning into Audrey’s touch, eyes still shut. She lifted her arm. “C’mere, you.”

Audrey scooted closer, wrapping her arms around Shelby. “Hey,” she murmured. She leaned forward, brushing her lips against Shelby’s in a soft, lingering kiss. 

“Hey,”

“Did you sleep alright?” Audrey gently ran her hand up Shelby’s arm. 

Shelby nodded. “You?”

“Yeah,” Audrey said. She sighed softly. “What are we going to do now?” she raised her hand, brushing a lock of hair from Shelby’s face. “What’s next for us? Is there even an ‘us’ to speak of?”

Shelby shrugged. “Do you want there to be an ‘us’?” she asked. “I know I do,”

A soft smile crossed Audrey’s features as she nodded. “I do, too.” she said. “Can I take you on a proper date tonight?”

“If we’re not still snowed it,” Shelby giggled, “then yes, I would love that.”

“If we’re still snowed in…” Audrey began as she sat up, flinging her leg over Shelby, straddling her waist, “I know a couple of fun activities we could do right here.” she leaned down, lazily pressing kisses down Shelby’s neck.

“Oh?” Shelby breathed, “Care to demonstrate?”

Audrey smirked and nodded. 

“My pleasure.”


	2. fill my heart with song, let me sing forevermore

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> for the winterprompt “kissing under the mistletoe”

Loud christmas music banged through the speakers. The bar Rory had chosen was completely packed. It wasn’t necessarily a bar Shelby would’ve chosen herself, in her opinion, the club seemed sleazy and seedy and she wanted to get away as fast as possible. Unfortunately for her, Rory and his partner seemed to have the time of their lives; dancing wildly, sipping on their cocktails. They probably weren’t leaving anytime soon. 

“Can’t believe I dated him,”

Shelby looked up. Audrey had sat down beside her. “He’s a sweetheart and all,” Audrey continued, “But he is so clueless.”

Not certain about what to say to this, Shelby just nodded. Quietly, she stirred her untouched drink. 

“You look miserable,” Audrey said, “If you want, we could take a walk? I can’t stand being here for a minute longer, this may be the dodgiest bar I’ve ever been to and trust me, that’s saying something.”

Shelby smiled. “Yes,  _ please _ .” she said, “I think I saw that bartender over there reuse a glass without washing it, I’m scared I’ll catch some disease.”

Audrey cringed, taking Shelby by the hand and pulling her along. “I’m out, let’s go, that’s the worst thing I’ve heard I need  _ out _ , Rory and Alex can suck it we’re leaving. We’re going to look at the Rockefeller tree.”

  
  


A chilly winter breeze blew as they walked down the richly decorated streets of New York City. Soft lights twinkled, casting their golden light on Shelby’s features with an ethereal glow. For a moment, it took Audrey aback. Never once had she even entertained to notion that she could be attracted to a woman. Not before she met Shelby.

Yet there she was.

Being with Shelby made her feel happy and giddy and  _ whole. _ Over time, Audrey had begun to fall for her. Hopelessly and irrevocably. She’s not quite sure when it happened or how, but Shelby became such a vital part of her life that it was hard to imagine her not being in it.

Shelby looked up, a small smile tugging on her lips as she caught Audrey staring at her rather than the tree. “Do you have any plans for Christmas?” she asked. 

Audrey pursed her lips. “I’ve been invited to a couple of parties, but I’m not quite sure. My entire family is in England. Rory was the only family I had here, until our divorce, that is. He did invite me though. What about you?”

“I’m not sure either, Matt and I would always go to his family but— yeah… I don’t know, I was thinking maybe— but that’s stupid so never mind.”

“You were thinking that you and I could celebrate together?”

Shelby’s cheeks turned bright red. “It’s dumb, I know.”

“No, not at all,” Audrey smiled, “I’d love that, actually. Just a relaxed christmas without the forced activities. Just the two of us. Sounds great to me.”

Smiling back, Shelby nodded. “It’s a plan, then.” she said before directing her gaze at the sky. “We should go inside, I think it’s going to rain soon.” Shelby had barely finished her sentence before the first drops fell from the sky.

“Fuck,” Audrey groaned and raised her scarf to shield herself against the rain. “Where do we go?”

“Come,” Shelby said, as she held Audrey by the elbow and dragged her away to one of the nearby cafés, beneath its awning. “We’ll wait here until it passes.”

Audrey nodded. She stood beside Shelby, leaning in close. “It’s cold,” she murmured. 

“Have my scarf,” Shelby said, wrapping it around Audrey’s neck.

Audrey lifted her hands. “Won’t you be cold?” she asked, fidgeting with the lapels of Shelby’s coat.

“Nah, I’ll be okay.” she whispered. Her eyes flicked up, stared at something just above their heads. “Hey,” she smiled softly. “Look up,”

Following Shelby’s gaze, Audrey looked up. “It’s a mistletoe,” she laughed. “Well, well, well,” she murmured, “Would you—”

Shelby dipped down, quickly brushing her lips against Audrey’s in a chaste, hasty kiss, effectively cutting off her sentence. “There,” she said, “Can’t ignore the rules of a mistletoe, can we?”

Laughing heartily, Audrey stood on the tips of her toes and wrapped her arms around Shelby’s neck. “You’re right, we can’t,” she murmured. She brushed her nose against Shelby’s and pressed another kiss to her lips, long and lingering. And in the distance, she could hear the church bells ring. Twelve times exactly, announcing the new day to come.

Breathlessly, Shelby pulled back, resting her forehead against Audrey’s. “Hey,” she murmured, “Merry Christmas,”

Audrey bit her lip and smiled softly. “Merry Christmas, darling.”


	3. i can’t go back to the river

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> audrey has a shoot in london and has to leave shelby behind short drabble of them saying goodbye

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> short shaudrey drabble i found in the deep dark depths from my drive

Bright, azure eyes stared outside as a large white plane took off. Growing up, Shelby had always been fascinated by airplanes. Her father had been a pilot and they had had the greatest bond. Whenever he went away for a long time, he would bring her a pretty trinket from the country where he’d reside and by the time she’d turned twelve, her collection had already been enormous. After he passed away, she’d kept every single one of them and today, she still cherished them. Today, many intricate tchotchkes still decorated the Tindall residence. They nearly had the entire world represented right there, tucked away in a small apartment in Los Angeles.

After filming Return to Roanoke, it had taken Shelby weeks, months even, to be able to even face Audrey. Everything about her was a stark reminder of the horrors she had witnessed, the losses she had suffered and the pain she had gone through. A pain that, she learned, wouldn’t ever fully leave her.

Over time, though, Shelby stopped seeing Audrey as what she symbolised, a harrowing ghost from her traumatic past, and more as who she truly was. A friend, a companion, an ally. Someone who knew exactly what she had gone through. Someone who understood. Someone who didn’t ask any intrusive questions because she _knew_.

Audrey became the gears of her very existence and, a good four years later, her wife. Their relationship had started out as anything but smooth. Both women had already had a lifetime of troubles and heartache and they still struggled with the aftermath of that, but in the end they would always find a way to make things work. In the end they would always be there when they needed each other. Whether it was one comforting the other after a nightmare, a simple hand to hold onto or a sweet kiss to melt all the worries away. In the end, they always had each others backs.

“Shelby, sweetie, are you listening to me?” with a single finger, Audrey turned Shelby’s head towards her, away from the departing planes. Disoriented, Shelby blinked a few times. “Hm?” For a second, she was scared that Audrey was annoyed with her, but when she removed her large set of sunglasses, Shelby saw no signs of irritation. Instead, those dark brown eyes carried something that she could only identify as guilt. Audrey’s lips, however, had quirked into a sympathetic smile. _She’s having trouble with this too, don’t make her feel worse_. “I’m sorry, what did you say?”

“I just asked you… Are you absolutely certain you can’t come with me?” Audrey twirled a single lock of dark blond hair around her finger, playing with it for a second before tucking it behind Shelby’s ear. “You could just relax at the hotel and then we could go out on the days where I’m free, you know? Have some fun together.”

Shelby bit her lip and averted her gaze. “I’m sorry, babe I really want to but I’ve got a ton of work to do here. I wish you didn’t have to go all the way to London.”

Audrey seized Shelby’s hands with both of hers. “Me neither, but I’ll only be a couple of months. This is a huge chance that could give my career a little nudge again, I just can’t let this one go.”

“I know, I know…” Shelby fidgeted with the thin, white-gold wedding band on Audrey’s finger in absence. “I’m happy for you, I am. I’m just going to miss you a lot, is all.”

Audrey gave a small nod and pulled Shelby into a tight embrace. “I’ll miss you too, darling. But i’ll be back before you know it. Okay?”

Shelby nodded her affirmation. “Okay.” she mumbled before pressing a kiss to Audrey’s lips. “I love you, Aud.”

“I love you too sweetheart.”

A voice croaked through the intercom, announcing the last boarding call for the passengers on the flight from Los Angeles to London.

“That’s you, babe.”

“I know.” Audrey whispered. With a deep sigh and great reluctance, she pulled back from the embrace. She scanned Shelby’s face closely. From the dull, haunted look in her eyes, to the dark circles beneath them. _It’s getting worse again…_ “Are you sure you’ll be fine?”

Shelby nodded. “I’ll be alright.” she said with a forced smile. “You need to go, you’ll miss your flight.”

But Audrey wasn’t convinced. “Promise me you’ll tell me if something happens yeah? Promise me you’ll keep taking your medication and that you’ll call or text me whenever you need anything- anything at all.”

“yeah, yeah I promise.” Shelby mumbled, avoiding Audrey’s intent gaze as she fidgeted with the hem of her hoodie. “Now _go_ the gate could be closing any minute now.”

“I’m not leaving until I see you smile. Genuinely.” she pressed a soft kiss to Shelby’s jaw. “hm?” she prompted, moving upwards to kiss her cheek. “I’m going to miss you.” she murmured in between kisses. With her nose, she gave Shelby a small nudge. A shadow of a smile appeared on Shelby’s face as she relaxed beneath Audrey’s touch. “There it is.” Audrey chuckled. She kissed Shelby one last time, before letting go. She turned towards the flight attendant who impatiently gestured at her watch.

“I think I really have to leave now.” she said, biting her lip.

“I think you do. Will you call me once you arrive?”

Audrey smiled and nodded. “Of course, angel.” she gave Shelby’s hand a little squeeze. “The second we land, i’ll let you know.”

Shelby hugged her chest tightly as Audrey made her way to the gate, turning around once more to blow her a kiss before getting on the plane


	4. Dancing in the moonlight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wherein audrey and shelby both hate the paleyfest afterparty

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the prompts ‘brushing a strand of hair behind someone’s ear’ and ‘you have no idea what you do to me, do you?’

The soft beats of a jazz song drummed through the speakers at the paleyfest afterparty. Audrey quietly sipped from her mimosa as she annoyedly looked around the room. Rory had been dancing with another girl all night and it took her every amount of self control that she had in her body to not drag the girl by the hair.

Yet it wasn’t until the girl tried to kiss him, that she had decided it was enough. She averted her gaze, searching for a glimpse of golden blond hair. A much preferable sight, not that she would admit that. At the very least not sober. 

Shelby was standing in the corner by herself. She had looked positively adorable with the intricately braided updo and the elegant dress. Audrey caught herself looking at her more so than she would at any other guy. The press had been convinced that she had had a fling with Rory, which in reality was just a drunken hook-up once after shooting. Sidney made them go through with it, it’d be good publicity. Begrudgingly, she had agreed in spite of wanting to stay single, maybe pursue a certain blonde woman. However seeing as Rory did his own thing, why wouldn’t she?

And so, with trademark confidence (and perhaps a little arrogance) Audrey strode off to Shelby. “Having fun?” She asked.

Slightly startled, for she had been sunken deeply into her thoughts, Shelby looked up. “Oh,” she smiled, “Not really,” she said. She pursed her lips, unsure of what to do with herself and Audrey’s unexpected presence. “You?”

“Had it not been an open bar, I wouldn’t be here,” Audrey just said. She took another sip, eyes staring daggers at Rory and the girl. “We’re supposed to be pretending to be a couple,” she said bitterly. “Do you know how many suitors I had to reject because I can’t be seen with another man?” She asked, “Do you know how hard it is to refrain from asking out the person I actually want to date? Not that she’d like me back.”

Shelby perked up, “She?”

“Hmm, what?” Audrey looked up. 

“Nothing, I didn’t know you were into women.” Shelby said.

Audrey just shrugged, “Hollywood needn’t know everything. All of my relationships with men were solely for publicity. Men are fun, they’re just not my thing. Why, is that weird to you?.”

“No, not at all,” Shelby said, “I’ve had girlfriends too,”

“Mhm,” Audrey said, amusedly eyeing Shelby from top to bottom. “I see,”

“Yeah…” Shelby trailed off. Her eyes scanned the room, looking for Matt and Lee. It had only been a week since he left after she got caught with Dominic. in a way, she was relieved that he was gone, their relationship had been over a long time ago, neither of them was just brave enough to call it quits but on the other hand, she missed him dearly.

“He’s not here,” Audrey said, breaking Shelby’s reverie. 

“Oh,”

“Yeah. He left earlier with his sister.” she grabbed a pack of cigarettes from her clutch. “Wanna come outside with me?”

Audrey lit up her cigarette, deeply inhaling the fumes. “I hate parties like this,” she said, “full of posers and idiots,”

“I’m not a fan either,”

Blowing out a puff of smoke, Audrey looks at her from the side. “We could just leave, you know. Just get the fuck out. We could sit at the beach nearby?”

Shelby shrugged. “Fuck it,” she said, “Let’s go.”

And so, the pair took off, quietly walking side by side. The beach was only a short five minute walk away. “You know,” Audrey said, “Knowing how nervous you were for the panel, I think you did pretty great.”

“Thank you,” Shelby said, “I’m glad they seated me next to you, without your encouragement it would have been a big mess.”

“Oh, you’re welcome,” Audrey said. They had arrived at the beach and she took off her shoes as she walked through the warm sand. “You coming?”

Shelby nodded and followed her lead. “Let’s go and sit near the sea, I’ve sort of had it with all the city noises, I just want to listen to the ocean.”

With a great sigh, Audrey dropped down into the sand, “Jesus, I’m getting old,” she groaned. “You’re going to need to help me get up later,”

Shelby giggled, softly and candidly. Audrey’s heart had made a tiny flutter. Carefully pulling up her dress, Shelby sat down next to her. Azure eyes stared at the ocean. And for a good couple of minutes, they just sat there. Silently enjoying each other’s company. It was nice, a not-too-cold breeze blew, the sound of the ocean was ever so relaxing, things just felt okay for a moment. 

“Don’t mind if i do,” Shelby murmured after a while, hands reaching up to pull the many pins from her hair, “It’s killing me.” Long dark blonde hair cascaded down her back and she ran her fingers through it, massaging her scalp.

“Get used to that,” Audrey said, with a semi-smile. “Uncomfortable dresses, shoes, hairstyles, anything to look good for the press,” she paused for a second, “Though I don’t think you need all that hodgepodge, you’re beautiful as is.” 

Shelby scoffed.

“i mean it, you’re pretty, you’re funny, you’re kind and just the right amount of kooky so why shouldn’t you be confident about yourself?” Boldly, she lifted her hand, brushing a lock of hair behind Shelby’s ear.

Slightly taken aback but with a soft smile, Shelby looked up. Her cerulean eyes curiously scanned Audrey. “Miss Tindall, if I didn’t know any better I’d think you are flirting with me.”

Stern, confident brown eyes stared right back. “Would it bother you if I were?”

For a moment, Shelby pondered on this. Audrey was an attractive woman, she had thought from the very beginning. She was funny, charismatic and she had that kind of fire that just forced you to look at her, to admire her. “No,” Shelby concluded. “Not at all.”

“Interesting,” Audrey said with a toothy grin. She scooted a bit closer and leaned in close, “If you want you could come and sleep in my room. I doubt you want to be with Matt tonight.”

“That sounds good,” Shelby murmured, feigning a yawn. “ Gosh, suddenly I am very tired and wanting to go back to the hotel.”

Audrey laughed heartily, “Poor thing, you, let’s get you into bed,”

Audrey shut the hotel room door behind her, locking it for extra measure. She leaned against the door, seductively smiling up at Shelby, “Well?”

Tentatively, Shelby stepped closer, into Audrey’s waiting arms. Audrey had lifted herself to the tips of her toes, nose running the edge of Shelby’s jaw and down the length of her neck. “This ok?” She whispered.

Shelby’s breath hitched in her throat, “yeah,” she mumbled flusteredly, eyes screwed shut. She leaned forward pressing a quick kiss to Audrey’s lips.

“Oh,” Audrey murmured. Her hands roamed up and down her slender yet muscular body and boldly, she bucked her hips against hers, drawing a soft sigh from Shelby. “So, just this is already enough to get the great Shelby Miller to fall apart?”

With an abashed smile, Shelby just shrugged. “Audrey, you have no idea what you do to me, do you?”

Audrey tilted her head slightly, amusedly. “You’re right, I don’t,” she said. “Guess I am about to find out.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come say hi on tumblr @charlily-n where i take request! Also check out my hotgomery and gooday collections


	5. i couldn’t stay away, i couldn’t fight it

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which audrey surprises shelby. yes this is a reupload since i added it to the foxxay collection instead of the shaudrey one

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> for the prompt “do you talk to your mother with that mouth?”
> 
> look away i don’t do lewd that often

It’s the look that Audrey gave her which lets Shelby know that she is up to something. It’s the cheeky pat on her bum and the naughty whisper as she brushes past her that confirmed to Shelby, that, that  _ something _ , likely included rather intimate things.

Amusedly, she turned towards Audrey. Blue eyes scanned her questioningly. “Are you going to tell me what this is all about?”

Audrey shook her head. With a bold smirk, she walked over to Shelby, pinning her hips against the counter. “It’s a surprise,”

“I hate surprises, just tell me.”

“Nope, you’re going to have to be patient, my love.” She murmurs, pressing a kiss to her lips. “Patience is key.”

Shelby raised an eyebrow. “So you’re going to keep me completely in the dark?”

“Correct.”

“I can’t stand you.”

“I love you too, baby girl.” And with that, Audrey had left the kitchen.

  
  
  


It’s late when Audrey and Shelby stumble into their bedroom. Soft whispers and hushed laughter filled the air. “What are we going to do?” Shelby asked, slurring her words just a little due to the ample amount of alcohol pumping through her veins.

Audrey grinned, pressing her lips to Shelby’s. Over and over, their lips met, eagerly, breathlessly,  _ hungrily _ . Severing the kiss, Audrey moved down, dragging her lips over her neck, to her chest, leaving searing love marks in her wake.

Sighing contently, Shelby let her head hang back, completely surrendering herself to Audrey’s mercy. Her hands gripped Audrey’s shoulders as she tried to buck her hips against hers.

“Not so fast,” Audrey said. Slowly, she dragged Shelby’s skirt down her slender legs, letting it fall to the floor and pool around her ankles. One by one, she undid the buttons from Shelby’s peasant blouse, gently pushing it off her shoulders. “Alright,” she murmured, kissing her on the lips, “Go lie on the bed.”

Shelby meekly followed Audrey’s order, curiously cocking her head as she watched her every move, how she swung her leg over her, how she settled on top of her, how she pulled her dress over her head and threw it somewhere in the corner. Excitement bubbled in Shelby’s chest. A soft sigh blew from her lips as Audrey canted her hips down. “Are you going to tell me where this is going?”

“Hmm,” she said, “alright then.” She reached into the drawer from her nightstand, producing a phallic shaped object. “I just thought we’d have a little fun with a new toy I got. Would that be of interest to you?”

Shelby nodded breathlessly. She bit her lip, eagerly looking up at Audrey, who was hoisting herself into the strap’s harness. 

“Okay, good, baby,” Audrey murmured. Positioning herself between Shelby’s legs, she crawled forward, hands brushing over Shelby’s entire body. She hooked her fingers into the waistband of her underwear and dragged them down. She dipped down, pressing blazing kisses to Shelby’s lips. Canting her hips down, she slowly rubbed the phallus between Shelby’s legs, slowly and sensually, letting the hilt of it graze through her folds, againsts her entrance and over the sensitive bundle of nerves. 

“Fuck,” Shelby breathed, biting her lip to keep from moaning. 

“None of that,” Audrey said sternly, plucking Shelby’s lip from between her teeth with her thumb. “I want to hear you,” her hips undulated quicker, picking up a fast pace. Audrey revelled in the way that Shelby had submitted herself fully, in the way she was coming undone so quickly. Shelby moaned, breathing shallowly, “Audrey,” she whimpered, “I need—”

“What do you need, baby?”

Shelby tried to steady her breathing, “I need you to make love to me.”

Audrey laughed heartily at the euphemism and Shelby’s inability to participate in any sort of dirty talk. She dipped down, bringing her lips close to Shelby’s ear. “Tsk, tsk tsk, so vulgar, do you talk to your mother with that mouth?”

“Audrey, please,” Shelby whined, “ _ Please, _ ”

“Tell me what you want,”

Shelby exhaled sharply. “I want— I want you to stop teasing me,” she said, voice slightly steadier than before, “I want you inside me, I want you to fuck me, hard, I just want  _ you _ ,” 

This seemed to satisfy Audrey better, “Hmm,” she murmured, sliding the tip of the phallus against Shelby’s entrance. “Like so?”

Groaning and unable to wait for Audrey to finish teasing her, Shelby jerked her hips upward, taking the length of the strap inside. 

Tantalisingly slow, Audrey began to undulate her hips, pumping inside at a teasing rhythm. “You’re doing so well, darling, and you look so pretty with your lips all pink and your cheeks all flushed.”

“You feel so nice,” Shelby murmured. “Fuck, you make me feel so good,”

“Anything for you, my love,” At the sight of the woman below her, Audrey could feel the tension build inside her own stomach as well. Dipping down, she pressed loving kisses to Shelby’s face, softly rubbing their noses together. “I love you,” she murmured, sweetly dragging her fingers through Shelby’s hair. 

“I love you too,” Shelby murmured breathlessly. She smiled softly and took Audrey’s hand in her own, tangling their fingers together. The other reached up to tug Audrey down to kiss her. 

Spurred on by the tender gesture, Audrey sped up, thrusting faster and faster. A sudden moan escaped from her lips as one of Shelby’s hands had snaked into the harness of the strap, fingers running tight circles around her clit. At a lightning speed, her pique drew nearer. “Jesus, Shelby—” she breathed. Slender fingers slipped inside and pumped quickly.

“Together,” Shelby said, eyes twinkling with unbridled love and reverence for the woman above her. 

Audrey nodded, lips slightly parted as she kissed her. “Together.” She lifted one of Shelby’s legs, hooking it around her waist, hitting her harder and deeper inside and then, and with a loud cry, Shelby came undone, mere second before Audrey did too. Rolling over to the side, Audrey tried to steady her breathing as she came down from her euphoric high. She tugged on the ties of the harness, removing it from her body and placing it on the nightstand for later clean-up. 

Shelby was the first to break the silence. “That was amazing,” she murmured, wrapping her arms around Audrey, “ _ You _ are amazing.” She turned her face towards her own, kissing her softly. She hooked her leg around Audrey’s, relishing the way their bodies felt when pressed together. She touched her head to Audrey’s, noses brushing together. “You know what?” she said.

“Hm?”

“I take it back, I  _ do  _ like your surprises.”


	6. kiss me too fiercely, hold me too tight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> for the prompts "I think she is hiding behind the sofa", "Go with me?" and "as long as you hold my hand

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw// anxiety and PTSD
> 
> disclaimer: I have done research on the matter and i drew experience from what i see around me (i am in a place where many people struggle with ptsd and attacks such as these, and i have seen the ugliness of it all.) I just hope i dont offend anyone like, for using a debilitating disorder for fiction. My intention is mostly trying to get awareness and i do genuinely believe that shelby does have a form of this.

Impatiently, Audrey ticked her nails on her steering wheel. It was a little over fifteen minutes ago that Matt had called her. As it was, Shelby had suffered from a bad PTSD flashback while he was visiting and she had been so far gone that Audrey had to come home as soon as possible to take care of her. She had been out with Shelby’s dog, Arlo, he had needed a trim and because Shelby was feeling ill, Audrey had proposed to do it.

Worriedly, she counted the minutes that had passed, the minutes she would still need to arrive at their home, the minutes until she would see Shelby again. Audrey had barely seen the car in front of her, if it weren’t for the driver’s warning honk, she would have definitely collided right into him.

Audrey breathed a sigh of relief as she pulled into their driveway. Heels clicked against the ground as she hurried up the stairs. 

“Well there you are,” said Matt, “Took you long enough,”

“Shut up, I came as fast as I could,” Audrey said through gritted teeth, “What did you do? What triggered it?”

Matt shrugged apathetically.

“I’ll get to the bottom of this,” she said, poking a finger to his chest, “Don’t you worry about that. Where is she?”

Matt looked inside and shrugged, “I think she is hiding behind the couch or something,”

Nodding sharply and cursing him beneath her breath, Audrey ran inside, “Shelby, darling?”

Limp like a ragdoll and breathing raggedly, Shelby lay against the back of the couch, “Hey baby,” she murmured, “My darling, are you able to hear me?”

Shelby gave no reply nor an indication whether she heard. Trembling profusely, Shelby curled up into a little ball, tears streaming down her cheeks, mumbling incoherently.

“Honey, listen to my voice,” tentatively, she reached out, palm pressing against her cheek, but Shelby batted it away and began to sob even harder, “Please let me go,  _ please _ ,”

Audrey slid down her hand to Shelby’s, gently squeezing in an attempt to ground her. “It’s me, it’s Audrey. I am here, you are safe.”

“Don’t hurt me,  _ please _ , don’t hurt me,”

“I’m not going to hurt you baby, I am right here, you’re safe with me.” She looked up, “Matt get me an ice pack, something cold.”

“How would that work?”

“Just  _ do _ it,” Audrey spat,  _ fucking wanker _ . “Maybe it is better if you leave,” Audrey said as she took the ice pack from his hand. “There is not anything you can do for her now, I really think you need to leave, you seem to be upsetting her.”

Matt awkwardly shuffled away, “Let me know once she’s okay,” he merely said before taking off.

“Here, baby, hold this,” Audrey folded Shelby’s cramped hands around the ice pack. “You feel that? Try to return to the present, try to live in the now.”

Shelby took a deep shuddery breath. Her hands loosened up just a little, a tiny bit of tension dissipated from her body, “I can’t do this,” she cried. “I just—” she pressed the ice pack against her neck, which had turned red and blotchy. 

“Take it easy, sweetheart, I am here, can you see me? Do you know who I am?”

Nodding, Shelby reached out an unsteady hand to Audrey. “Audrey,” she confirmed softly.

“That is right, I am Audrey, you’re safe with me baby,” Audrey said in a hushed tone, “Can I hold you? Or not yet.”

“Not yet,” Shelby replied. “I just-- I need a little space to breathe,”

Audrey shuffled back just a little but didn’t relinquish her hand, “Take your time, babygirl,” she said, “I am here when you’re ready,”

Shelby gave a feeble smile, her shoulders still heaved and she was still sniffling, but at least the cries had quieted down a little. She swallowed thickly and tried to steady her breathing. She needed to ground herself. Her name was Shelby. She lived in Raleigh, North Carolina, she was thirty-two years old, she lived together with her girlfriend, Audrey Tindall, she had a yogastudio, she had an assistance dog called Arlo-- where was Arlo? Panic bubbled up in her chest, “Where is Arlo?” she asked, eyes wide with fear, “Did something happen?”

“No, no, baby, Arlo is still at the groomer’s, I texted Monet and she is with him, she will bring him home tonight. Is that okay?”

Fresh tears ran down Shelby’s cheeks, “Okay,” she said softly. She took a deep breath and squeezed the ice pack, eyes screwed shut. “I think I’m okay,” she squeezed Audrey’s hand. “Hold me?”

Audrey scooted closer, taking Shelby in her arms. “You’re okay, sweetheart, we will make it through,”

“I am so exhausted,” Shelby muttered. She pulled up her legs, hugging her knees to her chest as she leaned into Audrey’s embrace. “My head hurts, I feel like I’m not entirely in control of my body,”

Audrey nodded, she expected as much, those were usually part of the aftermath of Shelby’s attacks. “Let’s get you to bed, my love,” she said, “Can you stand?

Shelby nodded, “I think so,”

“Okay, baby, come with me. It is going to be okay.”

“It will,” Shelby gave a feeble smile, resting her head onto Audrey’s shoulder. “As long as you hold my hand.”

Raising their joint hands, Audrey pressed a kiss to Shelby’s. “Always.”

“Go lay down, sweetheart, I will get you some tea,”

Shelby sat down on the bed, tiredly tugging off her clothes and exchanging them for her nightgown. “Can you just… Lay with me instead?”

“Of course darling,” Audrey threw her heels in the corner of the room and pulled on some sweats as well. “Come here let’s cuddle,” She slipped beneath the duvet, arms snaking around Shelby’s waist. Softly, she brushed her fingers through her hair. “Are you feeling any better?”

Shrugging, Shelby turned towards Audrey, “Just exhausted now,” 

“Go take a little nap baby, I’ll make sure Arlo gets home safe and I’ll arrange dinner, okay? You just rest a little,”

Shelby leaned in close, nose brushing against Audrey’s before pressing her lips to hers. “I love you so much,” she murmured, “Thank you for being there for me”

“I love you too,”

“Will you stay with me until I’m asleep?”

Audrey smiled and pressed another lingering kiss to Shelby’s lips. “Of course, babygirl.”


	7. a dream is a wish your heart makes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> if shaudrey were mommies meet ella, she and aster would be besties

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> found it in my drafts, uploaded it just to feel something. it’s over a year old though😭

Shelby kneeled down in front of her daughter. She held up a small note with both Audrey’s phone number and her own. “Now you know what to do in case of an emergencies, yes?”

The little girl nods. “Yes mama!” she mumbles and her chubby little hand reached out for the small, neatly folded piece of paper but Shelby was quicker, and held it just out of her reach. “Not so fast, Ella. Come on, tell me what our rules are.”

Audrey kneeled down next to Shelby, brushing her hair out of her face with a set of sparkly purple Minnie mouse ears and pressed a kiss to her cheek. “Ella knows what to do, darling, don’t worry too much.” She took the note from Shelby’s hand and tucked it the pocket of Ella’s red duffle coat. “Now don’t forget mummy put in this pocket, alright sweetie?”

Ella nodded. “Can we go now mommies? I want to see Belle!”

Audrey kissed Ella’s nose and ruffled her hair, golden blonde, just like Shelby’s. “Of course we can baby, let’s go.” She stood up, tugging Shelby along with her.

Shelby bit her lip, eyes fixated on her daughter. “Aud, are you sure we-”

“Yes I am sure we’ve gone over the rules enough times.” Audrey interrupted. “I know you’re worried babe, but Ella will be fine.” She lifted her hand, fingers brushing Shelby’s cheek as she did so. “She’s a smart girl. She got that from her mother.”

A shadow of a smile appeared on Shelby’s face as she took hold of Audrey’s hand and kissed it. “Thank you.” she whispered. She turned to her daughter. “Ella, where are your ears did you leave them in the car?” Ella nodded. “Don’t you want to wear them sweetie, they match mummy’s!” She said, pointing at the baby pink ears on Audrey’s head. At this, Ella shook her head vehemently. “I want to go to the bibbity bobbity boutique and get a tiara!”

Shelby laughed, lifting Ella to her hip. “Excuse me, where? How do you even know that name?”

Ella shrugged. “I heard about it on youtube. From a vlogger!”

“Ella, sweetie, you’re five years old what- when did you-” Shelby’s head snapped towards Audrey, whose face had turned slightly red as she tried to contain her laughter. “Aud?”

“Don’t look at me, you let your mother babysit her. You know your mother usually lets her do whatever she wants on her tablet.”

Shelby opened her mouth to say something but instead, she shook her head with a soft smile. “Alright so- a tiara then?”

“Yes! I want a tiara because I am a princess.” Ella threw her arms in the air and around Shelby’s neck. “No wait! I want- I want Elsa’s tiara because then I would be a queen!”

Shelby and Audrey both laughed at that. Shelby bumped her shoulder against Audrey’s. “Well, she got that from you.”

**Author's Note:**

> find me on twitter @rroanokes or charlily-n on tumblr (which is where I take requests/fic prompts) wlso peep my foxxay and hotgomery ones!


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